'Unlucky in Love'

It is no surprise to the readers of this blog that I have been 'unlucky' in love, to say the least.  I have found every jackass in the tri-state area, and decided that I should go on dates with each and every one of them, just to be sure they really are jackasses.  Some even got really lucky, and got a few dates out of me.  Always a sucker for self improvement, I was THRILLED to find this article on Yahoo! about ending your 'unlucky dating patterns' and decided to share the cliff notes version with you, along with how I plan to end this 'streak'. 

Unlucky dating pattern #1: Mistaking “hope at first sight” for “love at first sight”Many romances are built on hopes, dreams, and fantasies rather than reality. When you meet someone new — especially online — it can be tempting to fantasize about how he or she is the person who will finally fulfill all your hopes and dreams about love.
How to break it: How can you determine if your love is real? “Take time to get to know your potential partner before buying the house together or choosing names for your children,” says Cohen. “If your love falls apart at the first upset, or you get into ongoing fighting or drama, it’s not really love. If you get to know each other and — for better and worse — you still value each other and choose to be together, you have a very good thing going.”
Okay, I am DEFINITELY guilty of hope at first sight/love at first sight, I think the reason is because I try so hard to make a relationship work. But maybe that's part of my problem and I shouldn't try, I should go with the flow and see what happens organically (THAT should be interesting to watch from afar).

Unlucky dating pattern #2: Dating when you’re feeling desperate
Dating decisions that stem from feelings of loneliness or hopelessness almost never pan out well.
How to break it: If this behavior sounds familiar, Cohen advises trying your best to relax and trust yourself and your dating process — and perhaps even take a break from the dating game altogether.
Even though I've never considered myself desperate.  I do consider myself impatient.  I think it's funny that at the time I was getting ready to take down my online dating profile, because my subscription was ending and I needed yet another break, I got an email from a guy that said "You know, I would've winked at you, but I don't think we would've gotten anywhere" and then wrote me an email.  That was the golfer.

Unlucky dating pattern #3: Seeking only one perfect match for yourself
If you tend to dismiss partners once you find something “wrong” with them, you may have a history of letting pickiness overshadow genuine romantic possibilities.
How to break it: If you are trying to discern between being “too picky” or simply “selective,” ask yourself if the trait in your partner that you are questioning is a minor or major flaw. Are your partner’s other qualities attractive enough that, on balance, you can overlook it? Or is this trait something that could undermine everything else? At the same time, if you have had relationships tank because you were not selective enough, it’s time to exercise some discernment.
I am the QUEEN of finding something 'wrong' with a person.  Which is ironic because I have so much 'wrong' with me, which might actually explain why I've been single for so long!  You all know I have my 'list' of qualities I look for in a person and believe it or not, I actually see some of those as 'preferences' and not non-negotiable.  If the right guy came around and didn't meet everyone of my crazy expectations, but was funny, caring, family oriented and had the basic moral principals that I had, I would without a doubt through the list out the window.

Unlucky dating pattern #4: Getting stuck with the wrong person — repeatedly
Every relationship partner — whether he shows up for a day or a lifetime — is a perfect mirror for what is going on inside of you.  While such relationships may be painful, if they force you to recognize that you do deserve someone better, they can actually help heal what was hurting you in the past.
How to break it: If you keep getting stuck on the wrong partner, realize that there is something stuck inside of you that you must shift in a positive direction before seeking a new partner.
Oh Lord, if every 'relationship partner' was a mirror for what was going on inside of me, I am a lot more messed up than I initially thought!  I've dated a guy with a pregnant fiancee (obviously I didn't know about her), a guy who had kids closer to my age then he was (only by a year, but still), the guy with the Armani glasses among many many others.  What the heck was being mirrored in my life with these people?! Do I even want to know?