The Rules

After my Monday meltdown, I decided yesterday that I'm becoming a 'Rules Girl'. I've heard about these mythical creatures, but never considered myself one.  First and foremost I am not and can not be 'sly and mysterious', it's just not in my nature.  Second of all I pride myself on being a 'no nonsense' girl...I say what's on my mind, how I'm feeling and even the stuff people don't want to hear....I can't help it, it's just how I am.  Perhaps the most important is that I'm extremely impatient, I have a really hard time waiting for what I want to come to me, I'd rather go out and get it myself.


So I started to investigate "The Rules" that Beyonce and Oprah swear by (hey it worked for B, 50/50 odds aren't bad).  These two dating coaches offer a 12 week email based class for $800...which is INSANE.  It's bad enough I pay for a dating website, I will NEVER EVER pay for someone to send me an email a week. This research wasn't going as planned...The Rules seemed like quite the scam for undateable women.  But with quotes like this, how can you argue:


"Because many women are successful go-getters in business they mistakenly assume they can be aggressive with men too. They want to ask him out, buy him dinner and sleep with him on the first date but, instead, we say women should disappear between dates and be very mysterious." - Metro UK, September 24, 2008.


It's true, we were raised to think that we could be anything we wanted when we grew up and that if a boy was mean to us, it meant that he 'liked' us.  Well this isn't true, women can't run for President...Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton both tried and they were torn apart from everything to their views on Women's Rights to their choice of lipstick color.  No male presidential candidate had to reveal how much he paid for a haircut to the public. 


Disney took it a step further by making every young girl believe that their Prince Charming was right around the corner...He would wake them up from a poisonous sleep with a kiss or rescue them from a tower by climbing up their hair.  In real life this doesn't happen...There is no one coming to rescue us, or save us...We have to be okay on our own.


Maybe Gigi from He's Just Not That Into You had it right, "Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.”


With that said, I am never responding to a text within the hour (The Rules suggest that texting be banned from a relationship, but I'm not taking it that far) and If I'm asked out for Saturday after Wednesday, the answer will be no.  If a guy wants me, he'll find me.  I'm off to go practice my modified version of The Rules...Wish me luck!


Rule #1: