The Mind of a Girl - Pt 2

Here's part 2 of yesterdays entry (don't worry, it's only 3 parts!) This is pretty much how a girl prepares for a date...Read on, but keep in mind this is a judgement free zone.

PART II - Girl Gets Ready for a Date

6:00 pm

On my walk home from the gym, I began taking a mental inventory of my closet to try and figure out what I was going to wear in order to help expedite the getting-ready-process in any possible way. (Can’t wear that dress, was just tagged in a million pics wearing it)(Turquoise silk, not a chance, not tan enough) (Too fat for that outfit, dammit why’d I eat that roll with the salad, I feel bloated.) I immediately took a sharp right turn opposite the direction of my street practically stopping traffic and darted straight into Bloomingdale's. In an intense state of panic, I grabbed 3 different outfits (-$362) to give myself a few more options for once I got home. (All of which were returnable, none of which I would return because they were “soooo cute,” and ‘whatever, I just won’t spend money on food this week.’) I already felt better.

6:20pm

I rush to meet Svetlana at the spa for my routine Brazilian wax (-$45).  She said she was leaving at 6 but graciously made an exception for me since it was an emergency. The emergency was of course, the date.  (Let’s not beat around the (brazilianed) bush here, I had to at least plan to be ready for a situation that might occur later that evening.  I mean I wasn’t necessarily going into the night with any expectations (lie), but the alternative of having to bare it with out being prepared is, well, unbearable.

“You have big plans tonight?” asks Svetlana in her thick Russian accent that all girls can understand.

“Just a date with (boy) soo…yeah.”

“Oh, then we take off all”

(Who am I to question a professional?).

6:45pm

Pick up a bottle of wine (-$12) (for myself during my getting-ready pregame), and a redbull (-$5) (can’t feel sleepy from the wine), and finally head home.  Good thing I was able to squeeze in a mani at lunch (-$15) (So when your debating paying for that date, think about how much I spent up until this point. Girls do a lot to prep themselves for you.)

7:00pm

I have 2 hours.  This should be plenty of time.  I know we said “meet at 9”, but that really means “I’ll text you at 8:50 and tell you I need 20 more minutes.

7 pm-7:45 pm

Stalk Facebook pics of (boy) that I am going out with, drink wine, gossip with my roommate and realize our conversation sounds like a verbal version of mad libs (ex: if he TOUCHES your LEG during the date, and then you guys MAKEOUT, you should GRAB his BUTT and….)

7:45 pm

Sh*t. I have to shower.

I spend the entire shower debating on whether or not to blow dry or curl my hair. Some girls would die for their flat iron. I like to dress things up with a little curling iron action. It’s a soft and flirty addition after the blow out that gives the look a polished touch.  (Let’s be honest, its so damn hot out that if I attempt to straighten my hair it will just turn into frizzy-fro status by the end of the night.)

8:00 pm

Out of shower and check phone.

BBM from bff#3: “gooood lucckk! Lemme know how it goes”.  I can’t even reply.  Too frantic.

8:00-8:20 pm

Repetitive series of: Blow dry a section of hair/sip wine/stand in front of air conditioner.  Wine/AC/dry more sections of hair.  Wine/check phone. Redbull/AC. Okay, the hair is finally dry and ironed somewhere in between “ringlets” and “beachy-wave.” I feel like a spitting image of Megan Fox. (Are boys still obsessed with her?) 

8:20-8:35 pm

Makeup. Every time I do my make up for an important occasion (seeing a boy), I always think to myself, 'this will be the best makeup application I have ever done.' A little Kim Kardash smokey eye situation mixed with a sexy Scar-Jo pout. I take careful measures to make sure that each lash is curled to perfection and that the eye-liner goes on in one smooth line. A little gloss to the lips - but not too much (what if he kisses me, like, right when I first see him?) Of course in the end, my makeup looks the same every time I do it and pretty much ends up appearing as if I'm not even wearing any makeup to begin with. (Wait, does that mean he will think I am naturally pretty?)

8:35-8:50pm

Three potential outfits lay before me.  Flowy, flirty, color? Form-fitting, cleavage, black? Dress with a print? WWRZD? (What Would Rachel Zoe Do?) I decide upon the form-fitting cleavage black. I know black is kind of blah, but I felt the urge to show off my lovely lady lumps.

8:50pm

I text (boy) and tell him that I will be there in 20 minutes. He replies, "that's fine, take your time."

8:50-9:00 pm

I take my time and prepare a final drink while watching the last 10 minutes of whatever is on Bravo.

9:00 pm

Decide to take a cab even though it’s an 8 minute walk away.  (Will he be there yet? Should I text that I'm on my way? Will he be standing outside? If I don't see him outside, should I wait outside? What if I'm waiting outside, and he's already inside? What if I go inside and he’s not even there yet? Whatever, I'll just go inside.) Ugh, I have to turn off this Taxi TV, its giving me anxiety.

9:09pm

Sweet, I'm one minute early (9 minutes late). I need a drink immeds. (immediately).

Let’s Review:

Girls never have anything to wear on a date. Ever.  There is always shopping involved whether it’s a full on ensemble or just a clutch.  A get ready pre-game is KEY (only if you’re not driving...we’re responsible insane people, right?).  White wine and a SF Red Bull is actually my pregame of choice…so this girl and I might actually be soulmates. The decision between curly and straight is a tough one.  Patti Stanger will tell you that guys only like straight hair…but I’ve been told that those beach (sex) waves are the way to go.   No matter how much you drink during your pre-date pre-game…you always want (need) another one as soon as you arrive.  

Tomorrow we will tackle 'The Date'. May the force be with us.