Divorcee

So I’ve been talking to a guy on Match that lists his status as divorced/currently separated.  I know for some people this could be a deal breaker, but at the moment it really doesn’t bother me.  We’ve only been talking for a little while, but he was very upfront about the whole thing and it makes perfect sense.  However, he’s a few years older than me and I started thinking that maybe he won’t want to be married again, because the last marriage didn’t end well. This is a problem.  I’ve been planning my wedding since I was 12, I want to get married in front of my friends and family and have that happy ending.  But this whole thing got me thinking about whether or not I would give up my idea of ‘happily ever after’ to be with someone I love.  I think the short answer is yes, but it’s a lot more complicated than that.  I want children (I know, I know, I say every other day that I don’t want kids, but I really do) and I don’t want a child out of wedlock…that must be the Catholic school girl in me. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m giving this guy a shot…my crazy thought process is no reason to alienate someone would could potentially be a good match (aside from the cat he currently owns…I have yet to ask how old the cat is…maybe it’s 27 and old and tired and…)

Isn't this a nice little piece of information from the CSC?

But I wonder if ‘never married’ really is criteria on someone’s ‘list’ and how many people don’t meet that requirement.  In 2003 50.6% of marriages ended in divorce, this number is believed to be declining, but I have yet to find the new statistic, so for the purposes of this non scientific blog (and my horrific math skills), I’m using 50%.  In 2010, there were 18,897,109 people in the tri state area, and if you figure that roughly half are divorced that leaves 9,448,554 single people in the New York Metropolitan area. When you take into consideration that NY has about 212,000 more women than men, it leaves you at about 4.5 million men.  Further, it’s been documented that 3.7% of the male population in the U.S. is over 6’3, which leaves me with about 166,500 people that live in my area and are tall enough for me to date.  Let me just remind you that I didn’t take into account college education, occupation and a few other factors that are on my list.  This is not a lot of people and considering my dating history, I’ve probably dated ½ of the 166k.  Just for arguments sake, I did the math the other way, leaving in divorced people ages 24-29 and figured out that 700k people would be left in my ‘dating pool’.  I’ll take it.  That’s basically a half of a million more people for me to date! 

This was really just an insanely long way for me to tell you this: The bottom line is that if I did this for every single item on my ‘list’…I bet I would be left with 5 people (if I was lucky). Maybe Patti Stanger is right and [laundry] lists when it comes to dating are a bad thing.  She preaches that everyone can only have 5 non-negotiable, so I’ve edited my list to this:

1.    Tall (over 6’2) – I know my original list said 6’1, but I’m shorting the list, so I’m raising the height standard.

2.    Educated – At least a college degree.

3.    Employed – I’m not one to bash someone’s job, remember I am a slave after all and I don’t want someone in a labor union or in any kind of construction.  There’s nothing wrong with it, just based on life experiences, I don’t want a plumber, welder, carpenter, etc.

4.    Family Oriented – I think if someone loves their family, it can be automatically assumed that they’re nice, caring, friendly, etc.

5.    Funny – If you’re not laughing, you’re crying…I need to laugh.

This list seems completely manageable to me! And who knows...Maybe this 6’3, divorcee fits the bill.