The Mind of a Girl - Pt 3 (Final)

Okay!  We're almost done!  This is the last and final chapter of "The Mind of a Girl"....Enjoy!

PART III - Girl Goes on a Date

9:10pm

Enter the bar. I see (boy). It's our 1st "official" date. (Is he going to go in for the kiss? A little smoochy smooch? Maybe just a hug?) Peck on the cheek as he hugged me. Cute. [We met the standard way most mid 20-somethings meet.  Drunk and out at a bar.  I had gone home with him that night.  Not really sure if he invited me back there at the time, all I know is that I woke up in his bed the next morning. (He was a friend of a friend so it’s legit). He got my number before I left (I waited a few torturous days for contact, blah blah Facebook friend request, texts, etc.).]

So we sat down at our table and the server brings us menus. We exchange some witty (nervous) conversation.  (Are we ordering food, or just drinks?) (I'm famished, I could totally eat, like, a cheese-something appetizer) (Is he going to ask me if I want to get food? I do but I don't want to be the one to say it) (Do I want wine? Are we going to get a bottle of wine? Do I want a vodka drink? If I drink vodka now, I'm done.)

(Boy): So, should we get a bottle of wine? What kind of wine do you like?
Me: (I really like Pinot Grigio, but I feel likes it's the drink my dad would sneak-order for me when we would go out to family dinners before I was 21. But I always trip on the word "Sauvignon" so...) Umm.... Pinot Grigio?
(Boy): Okay, so let's do a bottle of Pinot Grigio and the cheese-something appetizer. Sound good?
Me: Yea, sounds great. (He ordered for us too, I like when guys order for me).

A girl walks up and says “Hi” to (boy). He knows her from college. (Ugh). (Is he going to introduce me?). (I need to stop staring her up and down). (Okay, I get it, you know him, leave girl). She leaves.

The wine comes. The server pours a little in a glass for me to try (as if I'm a professional wine taster.  What if I seriously was like, 'no no, it’s too dry, we must have this sent back immediately.' Said in an English accent of course.)

We "cheers" to our one inside joke.

9:30 pm

We play a rousing game of Jewish Geography (Where did you go to camp?) (When did you graduate?) (Do you know someone's friend someone from somewhere?) Our conversation then leads to work, our jobs, where we live, and how we feel about our respective neighborhoods. (This is the most typical and boring date conversations so feel free to spice it up in the beginning to keep our attention).

(Boy): Yeah, I work for this hedge fund blah blah finance blah stocks bonds (It’s seriously so hot when guys talk about financy things, but don’t drag it on.) (I wonder what he looks like in a suit) I tell him that my bffs used to work in investment banking, as that is my one and only tie to anything finance-related.

(Boy) brings up the fact that I do interior design and then says that he could use some pointers for his apartment, bedroom specifically. (As if I've never heard that one before.) (Does he really need pointers? Or does he just want me to come back to his place again?) (I barely remember what his apartment looks like because last time I saw it was when I awoke in a hungover haze).

10:00 pm

We are now on our 3^rd glass of wine, and an hour or so more of great conversation (filled with sexual innuendos and flirtations) goes by.

(Another Clueless movie quote enters my mind again. “Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That is an unequivocal sex invite.”)

His body language was really speaking to me.  (I wanted to reply to it by saying “yes, keep charming me with your smooth words and bedroom eyes, and I will definitely be coming home with you tonight”, but instead I just drank a little more in hopes that the alcohol would just do the talking. He’s hot. I mean we’ve hooked up before, so is it assumed that I will go back with him again? Do I play coy and act like “that’s soo not typically me to go home with a guy right away, I was just really drunk that night”? Or, do I give into my impulse and go home with him?)

(Boy) got up to go to the bathroom. Without a moment of hesitation, I take out my phone and begin furiously responding to all of my BBMs.

“He’s cute!” (send)

“Going great” (send)

“<3” (send)

He’s coming back from the bathroom and I casually slip my phone back into my purse mid-BBM sentence.

(Boy) “So are you ready to get out of here?”

Me: (We’re leaving? Am I going back with you? Should I just go home? Are we going somewhere else? I’m drunk.) “Sure”

The tab comes. He grabs for it. I offer. He refuses. I thank him. (Next time maybe I’ll treat him)

11:30 pm

We head outside. He grabs me and we start making out, aggressively.

“I should go home.” (What? Why am I saying, “I want to go home?” That’s a lie.)

“Come on, just come back for a little.  We can have a drink at my apartment." (A drink? Just tell me that you want to have passionate sex with me.)

(I’m sooo tempted.  Everything in me wants to agree to go back with him.  I had fun with him, and we obv had sexual chemistry.  But I do like him, and if I go home now, and he contacts me in the future, that means he is genuinely interested in seeing me again.)

“I’m going to take this cab….thanks for the drinks, I had fun.” (Kiss goodbye)

I ended up spooning my phone that night and awoke in the middle of the night to find a red blinking light of a text message from (boy) that he’d sent about 10 minutes after I got home. “I had a lot of fun, too.  What’s your plan for the rest of the weekend?” (sigh of relief!!) (Now I have about 12.2 hours to craft up a witty response.)

Let’s Review:

The greeting and departure are the two most stressful parts of a date.  ESPECIALLY if you’ve already made out with him drunk (of course, I'm not speaking from expereince, but I would imagine that to be an awkward situation)…there is a lot of stress debating the hello kiss vs. the hello hug.  Also, when we are on a date and someone (a girl) approaches you…it sucks…weather it's a friend, an ex, or a stranger it doesn’t matter…it takes the attention off of us and whether people admit it or not, no matter how confident we are, we're sizing her up to make sure we're prettier/smarter/skinnier whichever adjective it may be. We are always texting in the bathroom or while you’re in the bathroom and yes, it’s always about how the date is going, whether or not we think we’re going home with the guy or if we think we’ll see them again. The only thing worse than saying hello and good bye, is figuring out how to respond to texts the next day and waiting for him to ask you out again (you can tell from 95% of this blog, this is the worst part for me). Mean while, we're dissecting every single detail of the night before with every single one of your friends and having all of them tell you that if he doesn’t ask you out again he sucks - if he does ask you out again, he’s the one and if you don’t hear from him there has to be a reason. 

Moral of the story?  Being a girl is exhausting, friends fuel the fire because we’re all equally insane and feed off of each other.  With sources like Cosmo telling us to be more aggressive and The Rules telling us to play hard to get…there’s A LOTthink about…Whew, I’m exhausted just thinking about my daily thought process.

Happy Hump Day!!