Young Finance Professional...

This article was brought to my attention by a fellow single lady and I have to say I laughed out loud. It was posted in the Craig's List "Personals" section (she doesn't go there, it was featured on a website) and it's titled 'Young Finance Professional Seeks Girlfriend Just For the Holidays':

Let's recognize something. The holidays suck, especially for us single people. All of your coupled friends are going to be doing couple things: snuggling by the fire, going to dinner at each others' parents houses, blahblahbarf. (Agreed. Not to mention is my birthday, which makes it even worse.)

Let's recognize another thing. Deep down inside, you don't want to be alone for the holidays. You want someone to do all of those cute snuggly things with, someone to get fat and keep warm next to (let's also recognize that it's getting f...ing cold here), and someone to accompany you to your friends' coupley holiday parties so they don't keep thinking you're a loser destined for permanent solo status. (I'm not big on 'snuggly' but I like 'cute'.  I don't want to 'get fat' and I'd rather be cold than 'warm'...but I would like to dispel the thoughts of me being a 'loser destined for permanent solo status'.)

(So), you've spent all year working on your career / finishing school / getting drunk and haven't had the time or inclination to track down and capture a boyfriend. And even if you did, you're not really sure you'd want to keep him after the holidays are over, anyway. (Actually, I spent all year switching jobs and dating for blog material.  I have had both the time and inclination to attempt to 'track down and capture a boyfriend'...however I've been calling it 'attempting to find the right guy for me'....it sounds much better.)

The solution:

Be my girlfriend for the holidays. And only for the holidays.

How it works:

You reply with a picture and a brief bio (250 words max. To give you an idea, this posting is 499). If it seems like a good fit we'll set up a casual mini-date (coffee, beer, or whatever). If that's a success and we're both feeling it, we'll date until 11:59PM, January 2nd, 2012. After that we can still be friends (unless we hate each other, then we can downshift to the occasional drunken booty call). (I'm 24, also a 'finance professional', can write 250 words and I like casual mini-dates.  11:59 pm on January 2, 2012 is PERFECT, as I have a New Years Day party on the 1st and I would like someone to accompany me.  I have no problem being friends after, but let it be known, I will not be a drunken booty call, especially to a stranger/holiday boyfriend who posted an ad on Craig's List.)

The benefits:

• You have someone to keep you company on these witch-tit-cold New York City nights. Did I mention I'm an excellent cuddler ? (I have references.)  (We're going to have to discuss this cuddling thing...)

• I like to cook. Especially for others. Nothing too fancy, but always tasty and satisfying. As long as you're an omnivore, you win. (I can bake!  Nothing too fancy but always tasty and satisfying!)

• Having done it professionally for some years to pay for school, I know my way around a bar. Same goes for wine cellars and beer coolers. Homemade winter warmers ? Done. (I've been surrounded by people who LOVEEE their alcohol for quite some time...I know my way around a bar as well...this could get interesting)

• Hate holiday music ? Me too. Seeing as every other establishment or event you step into will be playing it, I'll spare you the excess.  (I HATE CHRISTMAS MUSIC...I think stores and stations should only be allowed to play it the week before Christmas.  How many different renditions of 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas' can someone possibly listen to before their eardrums start to bleed?)

• Love taking photos ? Sweet. Let's wear gaudy holiday attire and make ridiculous Xmas postcards to send your friends and family. Just for the lulz. (I have an ugly Christmas sweater vest that I've been dying to break out this year...and I have just invested in a leopard print Santa hat...you also said 'lulz'...which makes me an instant fan of yours)

• Worried about finding someone to kiss on New Year's Eve who doesn't look (or sound) like Sloth's cousin ? Boom! Got you covered. (I'll be the judge of that, send me your picture and bio.)

About Me:

23 years old, financial professional, active, outgoing, easy on the eyes. (How tall are you?)

Not About You (aka Dealbreakers or, Don't Bother If You Exhibit the Following):

Heavy drug use, laziness, prudishness, still in love with old boy or girlfriend from years past (or if you secretly are, at least have the damn decency to not blab on about it). (None of the above apply)

Interested ? Then send your pic and bio and get this ball rolling'

Is it terrible that I actually want to reply to this ad, just to see what this guy is actually all about!?! I am DYING to see what he looks like and see if he's actually this funny/creative in person. I know my mother is reading this right now screaming "Don't you dare!" at her computer...but it's killing me...I need to find out. I went to Craig's List, clicked on New York and in the search engine typed "holiday girlfriend".  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, there were 5 men, ages 26-34 with ad's on Craig's List searching for a Holiday Girlfriend!  I couldn't find the guy who posted the article above...however, I did find a guy who was 26 and admitted to copying the above ad from a guy in SF (he gets points for being honest AND for being in my age range).  I replied to him and sent him a link to my blog.  Stay tuned...