This is a [disgruntled] man’s response to an article written by a women entitled “Top 10 Reasons I won’t call a Guy Back After the 1st Date” (written by a woman) as always, I’ve included my comments in an attempt to apply this ridiculous logic to my actual life.
….to the girl who made the “top 10 reasons why I won’t call a guy back after the first date” post, I just wanted to say that I think you are being nit picky and unrealistic. There is a reason why women like you can’t get a date….you fly off the handle at the smallest things and wind up going off the deep end for no reason at all. So I was a few minutes late for a date…is that any reason for you to not call me back? Let’s talk about the things that females do that make guys not want to call them back after the first date:
1. You looked NOTHING like your picture on your online dating profile.
If the girl has some sort of weird camera angle in her online dating pictures, guys: turn and run. There is usually a good reason why a girls pictures look like Pablo Picasso arose from the dead, bought a cheap $25 digital camera and decided to experiment with photography. I am not trying to be mean here, it’s just that everyone in life has different preferences in the opposite sex. As cheap and shallow as it may seem, I want to have a fairly good idea of what you look like before we go out. Still think I’m being mean? Look at it this way: If you were in line behind me at the grocery store and we made eye contact and you found yourself not physically attracted to me, would you be inclined to carry on a conversation with me and give me your phone number at the end? It works both ways, sweetheart. I look EXACTLY like my pictures…granted I put the most flattering pictures on the website, but they’re still me. You should also account for the person you’re meeting to look at least a LITTLE different in person. If you think I’m showing up to our date looking the same as I did for my friend’s wedding, I’m sorry, get a clue…it’s not happening. ESPECIALLY because chances are you look different as well…and I have no idea if you’re even worth the professional make-up application. And your grocery store example is flawed I always carry on conversations with strangers in the grocery store and don’t give my number out to strangers, so if you found yourself talking to me in line and I declined to give you my number, it actually wouldn’t have had anything to do with you at all.
2. Yack Yack Yack
Is there anything more rude than answering your cell phone and yacking away with your girlfriend while out on a date? I understand if your Aunt Martha fell down a flight of stairs and forget to recharge the batteries in her life-alert bracelet and she just happened to be carrying her new iPhone in her pocket with your number on speed dial….I really do. But when your girlfriend calls you in the middle of our date and you start blabbing away about what you did last night for more than 5 minutes, I find myself slowly reaching into my pocket to fake a phone call from my Uncle John who happened to fall down a flight of stairs with his discharged life-alert bracelet and his new iPhone…I think that anyone who answers their phone on a date is rude and obnoxious. Despite what anyone may think, it doesn't make you look important, it makes you look like a donkey. ALL PARTIES SHOULD TURN THEIR PHONES OFF WHEN THEY'RE ON A DATE. I agree with you on this one, I wouldn't call you back either.
3. I am not sure whether to buy you dinner or ask your hourly rate.
I realize you may have certain “assets” on your body. Most women do. And being a guy, I do like eye candy. But if I am looking for a potential relationship out of you….there is nothing that will make me turn tail and run than if you come dressed with your boobs half hanging out in a short miniskirt and flirt with every guy that you see. (prolonged eye contact with other males does indeed constitute “flirting”). I realize that I may have broken the “guy code” here by telling women to cover up, but it is not what it seems. When guys (at least me and my friends) are looking for a potential relationship with a female we are interested in, we want to know (or at least think) that our girl is as pure as the driven snow when she is out in public. Okay, here’s the deal: I have boobs and hips…If I hide both, I look like I’m wearing a potato sack and have the body of a small linebacker and weigh in at 300 lbs. I am not going to make myself look ridiculous, just so you can think that I’m ‘pure as snow’. I’m 24 years old, I went to a party school and loved every second of it. While I am looking for a relationship, I’m not erasing my past, or my ‘assets’ to make you more comfortable. You should be comfortable enough with yourself, to where I can say hello to someone else (or in your example above ‘look’ at them) and you won’t be offended. If me acknowledging someone else’s presence means I charge an ‘hourly rate’…then thanks, but no thanks, I’m not interested.
I realize you may have certain “assets” on your body. Most women do. And being a guy, I do like eye candy. But if I am looking for a potential relationship out of you….there is nothing that will make me turn tail and run than if you come dressed with your boobs half hanging out in a short miniskirt and flirt with every guy that you see. (prolonged eye contact with other males does indeed constitute “flirting”). I realize that I may have broken the “guy code” here by telling women to cover up, but it is not what it seems. When guys (at least me and my friends) are looking for a potential relationship with a female we are interested in, we want to know (or at least think) that our girl is as pure as the driven snow when she is out in public. Okay, here’s the deal: I have boobs and hips…If I hide both, I look like I’m wearing a potato sack and have the body of a small linebacker and weigh in at 300 lbs. I am not going to make myself look ridiculous, just so you can think that I’m ‘pure as snow’. I’m 24 years old, I went to a party school and loved every second of it. While I am looking for a relationship, I’m not erasing my past, or my ‘assets’ to make you more comfortable. You should be comfortable enough with yourself, to where I can say hello to someone else (or in your example above ‘look’ at them) and you won’t be offended. If me acknowledging someone else’s presence means I charge an ‘hourly rate’…then thanks, but no thanks, I’m not interested.
4. Say you, Say me, Say it for always, that’s the way it should be…
If during the course of normal conversation the lyrics to the above Lionel Richie song start popping into my mind, I find myself looking for any excuse to end the date. I am not a male model, but I do realize that some women find me pretty attractive/borderline “good looking”. If while talking to me your eye gaze starts suggesting that I should don a 1980′s JerryCurl and neon Miami Vice overcoat and get down on my knees and start singing you a ballad, I’m outta there man. Great, now I got that stupid song stuck in my head. This honestly doesn’t even warrant a response. Read your own number 6…you’re begging for some kind of sign and as far as I’m concerned a look of admiration (while a little creepy) counts as a sign. Be careful what you wish for my friend…
5. Pull my finger…
I am sorry, I realize that ladies do act like ladies most all of the time. But if you accidentally “let one go” and it is audible enough to ring the bell on the church 5 miles away….that just killed it. I realize that accidents do happen, but…..still. You might be able to salvage the date if there is a dog nearby and you deftly try to blame it on the dog. I am a big 3 Stooges fan, so the comedic value just might outweigh the shock value. A perfectly executed “Curly Shuffle” afterwards will result in bonus points. Have you been on dates where a girl farted? You’re obviously dating the wrong girls. Furthermore, you know just as well as I do that if a girl did the “Curly Shuffle” after farting on a date with you, you would NOT call her back…under any circumstance. You would use the material for your blog.
I am sorry, I realize that ladies do act like ladies most all of the time. But if you accidentally “let one go” and it is audible enough to ring the bell on the church 5 miles away….that just killed it. I realize that accidents do happen, but…..still. You might be able to salvage the date if there is a dog nearby and you deftly try to blame it on the dog. I am a big 3 Stooges fan, so the comedic value just might outweigh the shock value. A perfectly executed “Curly Shuffle” afterwards will result in bonus points. Have you been on dates where a girl farted? You’re obviously dating the wrong girls. Furthermore, you know just as well as I do that if a girl did the “Curly Shuffle” after farting on a date with you, you would NOT call her back…under any circumstance. You would use the material for your blog.
6. I’m feelin’ it, you facial expressions and body language show otherwise, but deep down inside, you really are.
Guys are not mind readers. When I go out on a first date with a girl, I am a little bit nervous. Even though I can cover it up really well, I am most likely walking on broken eggshells until I find that comfort zone. During the course of the date I try to watch a girl’s facial expressions and body language to get a guage on whether or not I might get rejected if I ask her out on a second date. If I am not getting any perceivable signs that she is interested, chances are I won’t call you back or write you another email. I hate getting rejected and probably most guys do too. I have had more than a few girls call me back after I neglected to call them back after the first date, telling me how big of an “a-hole” I was for “leading them on”. Well if they had shown me some sign (any sign !!) that they were in the least bit interested in me, then I would have. Guys fear rejection too, ladies. Okay, I have a HUGE problem with this. If a girl lets a guy know she’s interested, she’s either ‘desperate’, ‘needy’, or ‘already in love’. If she plays it cool, calm and collected, she’s either ‘not interested’, ‘not worth the chase’ or ‘boring’. What kind of signs do you want? We already have our boobs and legs covered for you (#3), we can’t look at you (#4), and for all intensive purposes we can’t tell you we’re interested (that would make us desperate, needy or in love)…so what the heck would you like us to do?!
Guys are not mind readers. When I go out on a first date with a girl, I am a little bit nervous. Even though I can cover it up really well, I am most likely walking on broken eggshells until I find that comfort zone. During the course of the date I try to watch a girl’s facial expressions and body language to get a guage on whether or not I might get rejected if I ask her out on a second date. If I am not getting any perceivable signs that she is interested, chances are I won’t call you back or write you another email. I hate getting rejected and probably most guys do too. I have had more than a few girls call me back after I neglected to call them back after the first date, telling me how big of an “a-hole” I was for “leading them on”. Well if they had shown me some sign (any sign !!) that they were in the least bit interested in me, then I would have. Guys fear rejection too, ladies. Okay, I have a HUGE problem with this. If a girl lets a guy know she’s interested, she’s either ‘desperate’, ‘needy’, or ‘already in love’. If she plays it cool, calm and collected, she’s either ‘not interested’, ‘not worth the chase’ or ‘boring’. What kind of signs do you want? We already have our boobs and legs covered for you (#3), we can’t look at you (#4), and for all intensive purposes we can’t tell you we’re interested (that would make us desperate, needy or in love)…so what the heck would you like us to do?!
7. I just wasn’t feeling it
I really can’t break this one down any further. I am sure this goes both-ways without saying. If I am “not feeling it”, I will not lead you on, and you will know that it just isn’t happening for me. I would only hope that you have the same courtesy to do that to me instead of leading me on. You are missing the point. It’s totally fine to not have chemistry and not be ‘feeling it’…However, all females want is the common courtesy of telling us that! I would be much happier with a text that says “Hey, it was nice meeting you, but I don't think this is going to work out…best of luck in your search!” then I would be with you ignoring me and never giving me any kind of explanation and leaving me to sit here and go through every single comment and movement I made on our date.
8. Red Flags
I am writing this “top 10″ list from the perspective of a guy who is looking for a relationship. If I was looking for anything else, I would probably not be as picky. I look for little “red flags” in women that suggest certain things/traits that I am not looking for. It’s a scientific fact that some women lie. I don’t know why this is, nor do I know the name of the scientist that made this incredible discovery. You will have to trust me on this one. So when I am out on a date, I purposely ask carefully worded questions during the course of normal conversation. If something isn’t adding up, I will slowly but surely zone in on the area that I don’t like, which brings us to reason #9: Wake up call: Some (ie most) guys lie also…if you think that quizzing your potential matches on a date is going to get you a relationship, think again my friend. If they’re going to lie and they’re used to lying, they will pass your test BY LYING. How about you have a normal conversation instead of ‘carefully worded questions’ and see if you like her that way? And maybe, just maybe conversation will flow naturally.
I am writing this “top 10″ list from the perspective of a guy who is looking for a relationship. If I was looking for anything else, I would probably not be as picky. I look for little “red flags” in women that suggest certain things/traits that I am not looking for. It’s a scientific fact that some women lie. I don’t know why this is, nor do I know the name of the scientist that made this incredible discovery. You will have to trust me on this one. So when I am out on a date, I purposely ask carefully worded questions during the course of normal conversation. If something isn’t adding up, I will slowly but surely zone in on the area that I don’t like, which brings us to reason #9: Wake up call: Some (ie most) guys lie also…if you think that quizzing your potential matches on a date is going to get you a relationship, think again my friend. If they’re going to lie and they’re used to lying, they will pass your test BY LYING. How about you have a normal conversation instead of ‘carefully worded questions’ and see if you like her that way? And maybe, just maybe conversation will flow naturally.
9. Rule of 3
I am probably going to get shot by the “man counsel” for giving out this little gem, but a general rule of thumb (intelligent discretion must be applied) is that you take the amount of men that a girl says she has slept with, and multiply it by 3. I realize that there may be other formulas for this one….but my hippie community college professor once told me to stick with the rule of 3. Why am I telling you this? Because when I am looking for a relationship with a girl, I don’t want to know how many men you slept with (but i do). Does this make sense to you ladies? If not, then my work here is done. I don’t care if you’re my 95 year old husband and it’s your dying wish to know how many people I’ve slept with…I will NEVER tell you the answer to that question…it’s none of your business. I know, what you’re thinking “but if we’re ‘together’ it is…” No, you’re wrong, it’s not…if we’re together, the only thing that matters is what happens from now on…the end. By the way…this answer stays the same regardless if the number is 2 or 222.
I am probably going to get shot by the “man counsel” for giving out this little gem, but a general rule of thumb (intelligent discretion must be applied) is that you take the amount of men that a girl says she has slept with, and multiply it by 3. I realize that there may be other formulas for this one….but my hippie community college professor once told me to stick with the rule of 3. Why am I telling you this? Because when I am looking for a relationship with a girl, I don’t want to know how many men you slept with (but i do). Does this make sense to you ladies? If not, then my work here is done. I don’t care if you’re my 95 year old husband and it’s your dying wish to know how many people I’ve slept with…I will NEVER tell you the answer to that question…it’s none of your business. I know, what you’re thinking “but if we’re ‘together’ it is…” No, you’re wrong, it’s not…if we’re together, the only thing that matters is what happens from now on…the end. By the way…this answer stays the same regardless if the number is 2 or 222.
The last and most important reason why men don’t call women back after the first date:
10. There was a good football game on t.v. the next day and we plain forgot. Trust me, I was watching that exact same football game and I didn’t forget…use your brain.
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