A Checklist For Single People
By 
January Nelson lives in Brooklyn. - Compare your ex to someone new and feel relieved ANYONE is better than my most recent ex...I do this one often
- Compare your ex to someone new and feel regret I'm also pretty lucky to have a couple of great exes (yes, I count you as an 'ex') and I do this one once in a while, but I remind myself that exes are exes for a reason.
- Go on a terrible date that convinces you that you’ll be alone forever Umm...HELLO, have you read the rest of my blog, my life is a series of terrible dates.
- Go on a series of promising dates and tell your friends this “might be it” I used to do that, until it was never "it", so now I refuse to say anything of the sort.
- Let the holidays serve as a reminder of the last time you had someone to spend them with This is why the suicide rate around the holidays is so high (that's true folks, the most people kill themselves in December and January)...Don't send me any suicide prevention notes, I'm not talking about me.
- Spend the night drinking and dancing and kissing; walk home at 6 AM and feel content to be alone with the sunrise These are some of my favorite nights.
- Listen to love songs that remind you of no one; feel indifferent about feeling indifferent "Someone Like You" by Adele brings me to tears every time I listen to it...it honestly doesn't remind me of anyone, luckily, I don't want the people that hurt me back and I honestly have too much pride to beg...but the lyrics paired with her voice are PHENOMENAL.
- Listen to songs that remind you of the past and cry in the fetal position I'm sorry to say this is absolutely true...there are two songs that come to mind immediately "All my life" by KC and JoJo (yes, the song from 90's...call me a loser if you must) and "On Your Porch" by The Format
- Be enough for yourself I have just recently become perfectly content with myself. There is always room for improvement, but I am finally at a point where I'm good with me.
- Do the things your past relationships discouraged; be the person your past relationships suppressed Absolutely.
- Feel woefully behind and kind of nervous every time a friend gets engaged This is an interesting one. I have only had one friend get engaged and I was SO excited for her and she was older than me, so I think that had something to do with it. But I have a few friends that are 'next' and it does scare me a little bit...But at the same time I have friends that aren't dating, so I'm perfectly happy being in the middle.
- Forget how hard it is to watch your relationship dissolve when doling out advice Unfortunately I do this a little too often. I haven't been in a relationship in a while, so when people come to me with problems I dish out advice such as "do what's best for you", "what's meant to be will be", but there were a few points in my life where that was the LAST thing I wanted to hear and I have to try to remember that.
- Get defensive when your relationship non-status becomes a topic of conversation at Thanksgiving Luckily, my Thanksgiving dinner is small...My birthday (Christmas) on the other hand I'm not so lucky. I have actually had family members ask me 'why' I'm single...well folks, if I knew the answer to that question, do you think I'd still be single?!
- Sleep diagonal because you can In college I had a queen size bed, the best thing in the world was rolling around and not worrying about kicking someone in the stomach or elbowing them in the face.
- Feel high after a successful first date Yes...believe it or not, I have actually had some good first dates.
- Wonder if you can fall in love with someone despite the absence of an initial spark I think about this all the time (as you know by my 'second date rule')...I really wonder if arranged marriages work for this reason. I think if you know someone isn't going anywhere and that you HAVE to make it work and you like them enough, you could actually fall in love with them.
- Make out with someone for no reason other than you’re both single and attractive More often then I care to admit
- Date people who are completely wrong for you because you clearly don’t know who’s right for you I dated a guy who's career goal was to be a comic book artist...I'm not very artistic (I mean I can craft and scrapbook with the best of them, but I have no real artistic talent) so this entire concept was lost on me. It also made me feel like he never wanted to grow up because he wanted a career in cartoons. He also smoked and was also in a band (they're actually doing pretty well now) I can't stand smoking and am not really a big concert person. The icing on the cake was when he told me he didn't want to take me around his family because I wasn't Jewish....well duh! I wasn't Jewish when you met me...of course I'm not Jewish now! We were not a fit...at all.
- Get drunk and mentally forgive people your sober mind can’t absolve Yes, I do this and feel the need to contact the people I'm mentally forgiving to let them know that I've forgiven them....not the best tactic I can assure you.
- Discover one day that you’ve stopped looking and started living; let that make you smile Trust me, I'm living and I smile about 100 times more than the average person, but I can't stop looking. I read a book entitled "The Truth About Dating" by Julie Christensen. It was about this woman who tried online dating over and over and over again. She decided to 'stop looking' and the book ended with her alone on her 40th birthday. The entire time I was reading the book, I thought it was fiction...and it ended up being non-fiction and the author was STILL single. I refuse to stop looking. I have too much to offer to be alone :-)
So there you have it. I do EVERYTHING on the check list...does that mean I'm awesome at being single? Or that I'm ready to no longer be single? I guess I'll leave that up for debate.
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