The "Talk"

This is Golfers last week in NJ (it's actually his last three days since he leaves Friday, but I may still slightly be in denial).  I went over Monday night after work and was intercepted as I was changing into sweatpants by his mother, who started her conversation with, "Everyone at work is asking how you're doing with this whole thing...and I just start crying before I tell them I don't really know.  Are you okay?" (mind you she's sobbing me telling me the story about sobbing) of course, me being me, burst into tears as well and the two of us stood in Golfer's room hugging and crying for a solid three minutes.  This was a the first time anyone in his immediate family brought up the move to me and what it meant and what was going to happen...which kind of threw me for a loop, I honestly didn't think anyone was ever going to talk about it and it was going to be my responsibility to bring it up.

Golfer knowing me as well as he does, was prepared with white wine on hand and had a glass waiting for me as I sobbed with my head on his chest while watching Dancing With The Stars and the debate (it's amazing what a boyfriend will do for you once you start to cry, I must remember this).  After the crying subsided, and much more wine was consumed (Golfer's sister made me the 'bottle straw' seen below) I decided to have 'the talk'.  You know the one, what are we doing? What do you want? Etc.


Not sure why this is sideways



It went something to this effect:

"Babe, what are we doing?  What do you want for us?"
"I want you in FL, I think we have something really good here, but I realize how unfair it is to ask you to move."
"But you telling me what your ideal situation is, isn't asking me to move, if I move, it will be my decision..."
"Okay, then ideally I would want you in FL next year."
"Okay, then I should probably start looking for jobs and a roommate"
"A roommate?  Are you serious?"
"Well [my little brother] lives down there and he's in a 3 bedroom condo, so maybe I can live with him for a little while...."
"Why wouldn't you live with me?"
(cue uncomfortable laughter)
"Because I don't really think I want to live with someone before I'm engaged...there's a higher divorce rate and I only plan on being married once, so...."
"Seriously?"
"Kind of"
"Well at least we have some time to figure this one out"
"Also, eventually I want kids, and I'm not starting a family in FL"
"Because it's not NJ, or because it's FL?"
"I don't have to 'settle' in NJ, but I need seasons, so I'm sure as hell not settling in FL"
"Okay"
"But I'm also not living in FL for years, and then having kids when I'm 45"
"Baby, when you're 45, I'll be in  my 50's"

......does this mean I'm moving to FL and need to find a job and a roommate?

Furthermore, in yet another teary eyed conversation, his mother asked what we were doing...I said we're trying to figure that out, we just talked about it the night before.  His grandmother was confused as to why we didn't get married before we left...and his mother kept telling me she keeps praying we end up together despite FL...and then she slid in that we needed a two bedroom condo in FL, so she had somewhere to stay when she visited. Tomorrow and Friday should be very interesting days with the whole family saying their goodbyes...I'm still not sure how I'm going to fair. But I packed a personal wine supply for the next two days...and on my lunch break I'm going to try to find a long curly straw.