It's been forever

It's been forever since I've written in here and trust me when I say I have a lot to write about.  Golfer leaves in exactly 9 days for Florida, basically permanently. The question everyone keeps asking me is "What does that mean for you?" Well that's a touchy subject, since when I brought it up 2 weeks ago, I got out a few words "I'm a selfish b*tch and don't want you to go" and he got out a few coherent thoughts "I don't want to lose you" "I hate that I'm making you this upset" and "Is there anything in Florida for you".  I then tried to be an eight grader and bring it up via text message, thinking if he doesn't see me cry, maybe he'll be more open and that was an epic fail.  Now we're at a stalemate and no one will bring it up and I'm in crisis mode because he's leaving in a week and I still don't know what that means for me. End rant.  But seriously...What does it mean for me?  I hate being hot, I hate summer and I hate sweating if I'm not working out.  But I'm also in an awful living situation up here, I hate my job and I'm totally head over heels in love with him.  I know he loves me, but will he love me when I'm extra freckled from too much sun exposure, have gross nappy, frizzy, semi blonde hair from the sun and sand AND am poor because I'd be taking a 55% pay cut to move down there AND have to pay rent.   I check my horoscope daily and on Monday, this was my weekly horoscope:

Okay, I gave matters a rest on Monday.  My "hopes" are that he proposes and the decision is basically made for me...If we're getting married, I would have to go!  But that's delusional me talking and I'm trying to approach this as a rational version of myself, which is actually a lot more difficult than it sounds.  I actually wrote a ridiculous email to a friend from college, who I haven't seen since I graduated, but she is one of the smartest, wittiest people I know AND she's head over heels in love, married to one of our mutual friends and wouldn't steer me in the wrong direction.   Here's a tidbit of our conversation:

Me: Hey, [name]! This is probably the most random Facebook message you'll receive all day, but you're on a long car ride and I appreciate your POV, which I seem to need. My boyfriend (of 7 months) was supposed to go to Key Largo for 6 months for work (he's a golfer and works out of a really exclusive club down there for the winter). We had it figured out that I would go down 2 or 3 times, because he can't take time off and when he found a "home club" in the DC area, I would move down there and finally get into political consulting/PR.

Well of course nothing is easy, and his boss now wants to keep him on year round and with a two year commitment. He wants me down there (he stressed not right away) and asked "if there was anything job wise down there for me"...since I hate my job up here, I can't imagine anything worse is waiting for me in the Miami area. The real problem I'm having is that if one of my friends was in my place, I would be telling them they are out of their mind for moving for a guy...and if a ring isn't involved, he's not serious about them, but I'm also not one to demand a ring. I love him....but HATE the heat, frizzy hair and sweating, at the same time, I'm not ready to lose him over frizzy hair. I wouldn't be moving until next summer, but I don't think I'll be okay with him leaving without a plan in place. Help please?
Hope you and [husband] are having a safe and incident free trip so far!

Her: OK well some random from elementary school I boxed me to inquire about my skincare regiment three days ago so sorry, she's got you beat!

You should first know that [husband] and I had our first date Apr 16,2009 and I moved to Charlotte (alone) on Aug 15, 2009 and so we were long distance almost from the jump. We didn't move in together until a few months after we got engaged but we dated 1 year, got engaged for a year and were married 2 years on the anniversary of our first date...so my perspective is skewed toward love is quick and you either know as in "know" that its there or its not. We hate Charlotte and being away but we love each other and it was best for my career and David can work anywhere.

It seems the same situation kind of. I wouldn't move your life for a guy u like...they're a dime a dozen...but for a guy you love I would 5 mins ago, its once in a lifetime. I'm not a believer in ultimatum like, "I'll only do this for a ring..." but bc the ring conversation shouldn't hinge on anything... at the same time I'm saying only move for LOVE like in ur gut love, once in a lifetime love, and honey when there's that kind of love..there of course will be a ring.

The bottom line is that this weekend one of us has to say something and I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's going to be me :- /

In other news, I'm seeing my psychic on Saturday and she said "Come prepared, we have a lot to discuss"....God help me.