The "Talk"

This is Golfers last week in NJ (it's actually his last three days since he leaves Friday, but I may still slightly be in denial).  I went over Monday night after work and was intercepted as I was changing into sweatpants by his mother, who started her conversation with, "Everyone at work is asking how you're doing with this whole thing...and I just start crying before I tell them I don't really know.  Are you okay?" (mind you she's sobbing me telling me the story about sobbing) of course, me being me, burst into tears as well and the two of us stood in Golfer's room hugging and crying for a solid three minutes.  This was a the first time anyone in his immediate family brought up the move to me and what it meant and what was going to happen...which kind of threw me for a loop, I honestly didn't think anyone was ever going to talk about it and it was going to be my responsibility to bring it up.

Golfer knowing me as well as he does, was prepared with white wine on hand and had a glass waiting for me as I sobbed with my head on his chest while watching Dancing With The Stars and the debate (it's amazing what a boyfriend will do for you once you start to cry, I must remember this).  After the crying subsided, and much more wine was consumed (Golfer's sister made me the 'bottle straw' seen below) I decided to have 'the talk'.  You know the one, what are we doing? What do you want? Etc.


Not sure why this is sideways



It went something to this effect:

"Babe, what are we doing?  What do you want for us?"
"I want you in FL, I think we have something really good here, but I realize how unfair it is to ask you to move."
"But you telling me what your ideal situation is, isn't asking me to move, if I move, it will be my decision..."
"Okay, then ideally I would want you in FL next year."
"Okay, then I should probably start looking for jobs and a roommate"
"A roommate?  Are you serious?"
"Well [my little brother] lives down there and he's in a 3 bedroom condo, so maybe I can live with him for a little while...."
"Why wouldn't you live with me?"
(cue uncomfortable laughter)
"Because I don't really think I want to live with someone before I'm engaged...there's a higher divorce rate and I only plan on being married once, so...."
"Seriously?"
"Kind of"
"Well at least we have some time to figure this one out"
"Also, eventually I want kids, and I'm not starting a family in FL"
"Because it's not NJ, or because it's FL?"
"I don't have to 'settle' in NJ, but I need seasons, so I'm sure as hell not settling in FL"
"Okay"
"But I'm also not living in FL for years, and then having kids when I'm 45"
"Baby, when you're 45, I'll be in  my 50's"

......does this mean I'm moving to FL and need to find a job and a roommate?

Furthermore, in yet another teary eyed conversation, his mother asked what we were doing...I said we're trying to figure that out, we just talked about it the night before.  His grandmother was confused as to why we didn't get married before we left...and his mother kept telling me she keeps praying we end up together despite FL...and then she slid in that we needed a two bedroom condo in FL, so she had somewhere to stay when she visited. Tomorrow and Friday should be very interesting days with the whole family saying their goodbyes...I'm still not sure how I'm going to fair. But I packed a personal wine supply for the next two days...and on my lunch break I'm going to try to find a long curly straw.

Psychic Saturday

Sometimes you need a psychic to tell you what you already know.  Sometimes she gives you the closure you need or the answer you were looking for.  Sometimes she even cracks you up in the process.  My experience with Sara on Saturday was all of those things.  My ½ hour reading turned into an hour and fifteen minute reading because my “spirits were cracking her up” and “they love you a lot, they’re telling me not to stop”, which was of course fine by me. 

She knew my boyfriend was ½ Irish with an “Irish Catholic mother” and that he was a great guy because of “how he treats his sister, his dogs and the cat that he doesn’t even really like”.  She was also convinced that she and I were the same person in another life.  A first?  Definitely.   She knew about FL and asked “What the hell is going on with you and Florida?” and then she said “Wait, you need to calm down, everything is going to be fine.  He’s going to miss you, not forget you and even though he knows he loves you, he needs this to realize you’re the one.  Men are a little slower figuring these things out.”  She confirmed that I will not be getting engaged before he leaves, but I will be married in three years, which still is before my 30^th birthday, so I’m okay with that.  She knew some other crazy stuff, for instance she said “What did you say to your boyfriend after your first date?  The spirits are laughing and told me I would think it was funny.”  (The answer of course was me saying “Thank you for being normal” to him). 

I love my psychic Sara, and if any of you are considering going to a psychic, or have had bad experiences in the past, I encourage you to give it another shot, you have to find a psychic that you ‘click’ with and put your faith into the reading in order for it to be successful.

Foto Friday - Psychic Convo Edition

Since today is "Evaluate Your Life Day" (no, I didn't make that up) I decided I was going to observe the holiday by visiting my psychic tomorrow.  Here's what happened when I told golfer about the psychic (in photos):

Trust me when I tell you, he will be the FIRST person to ask me how it went.

It's been forever

It's been forever since I've written in here and trust me when I say I have a lot to write about.  Golfer leaves in exactly 9 days for Florida, basically permanently. The question everyone keeps asking me is "What does that mean for you?" Well that's a touchy subject, since when I brought it up 2 weeks ago, I got out a few words "I'm a selfish b*tch and don't want you to go" and he got out a few coherent thoughts "I don't want to lose you" "I hate that I'm making you this upset" and "Is there anything in Florida for you".  I then tried to be an eight grader and bring it up via text message, thinking if he doesn't see me cry, maybe he'll be more open and that was an epic fail.  Now we're at a stalemate and no one will bring it up and I'm in crisis mode because he's leaving in a week and I still don't know what that means for me. End rant.  But seriously...What does it mean for me?  I hate being hot, I hate summer and I hate sweating if I'm not working out.  But I'm also in an awful living situation up here, I hate my job and I'm totally head over heels in love with him.  I know he loves me, but will he love me when I'm extra freckled from too much sun exposure, have gross nappy, frizzy, semi blonde hair from the sun and sand AND am poor because I'd be taking a 55% pay cut to move down there AND have to pay rent.   I check my horoscope daily and on Monday, this was my weekly horoscope:

Okay, I gave matters a rest on Monday.  My "hopes" are that he proposes and the decision is basically made for me...If we're getting married, I would have to go!  But that's delusional me talking and I'm trying to approach this as a rational version of myself, which is actually a lot more difficult than it sounds.  I actually wrote a ridiculous email to a friend from college, who I haven't seen since I graduated, but she is one of the smartest, wittiest people I know AND she's head over heels in love, married to one of our mutual friends and wouldn't steer me in the wrong direction.   Here's a tidbit of our conversation:

Me: Hey, [name]! This is probably the most random Facebook message you'll receive all day, but you're on a long car ride and I appreciate your POV, which I seem to need. My boyfriend (of 7 months) was supposed to go to Key Largo for 6 months for work (he's a golfer and works out of a really exclusive club down there for the winter). We had it figured out that I would go down 2 or 3 times, because he can't take time off and when he found a "home club" in the DC area, I would move down there and finally get into political consulting/PR.

Well of course nothing is easy, and his boss now wants to keep him on year round and with a two year commitment. He wants me down there (he stressed not right away) and asked "if there was anything job wise down there for me"...since I hate my job up here, I can't imagine anything worse is waiting for me in the Miami area. The real problem I'm having is that if one of my friends was in my place, I would be telling them they are out of their mind for moving for a guy...and if a ring isn't involved, he's not serious about them, but I'm also not one to demand a ring. I love him....but HATE the heat, frizzy hair and sweating, at the same time, I'm not ready to lose him over frizzy hair. I wouldn't be moving until next summer, but I don't think I'll be okay with him leaving without a plan in place. Help please?
Hope you and [husband] are having a safe and incident free trip so far!

Her: OK well some random from elementary school I boxed me to inquire about my skincare regiment three days ago so sorry, she's got you beat!

You should first know that [husband] and I had our first date Apr 16,2009 and I moved to Charlotte (alone) on Aug 15, 2009 and so we were long distance almost from the jump. We didn't move in together until a few months after we got engaged but we dated 1 year, got engaged for a year and were married 2 years on the anniversary of our first date...so my perspective is skewed toward love is quick and you either know as in "know" that its there or its not. We hate Charlotte and being away but we love each other and it was best for my career and David can work anywhere.

It seems the same situation kind of. I wouldn't move your life for a guy u like...they're a dime a dozen...but for a guy you love I would 5 mins ago, its once in a lifetime. I'm not a believer in ultimatum like, "I'll only do this for a ring..." but bc the ring conversation shouldn't hinge on anything... at the same time I'm saying only move for LOVE like in ur gut love, once in a lifetime love, and honey when there's that kind of love..there of course will be a ring.

The bottom line is that this weekend one of us has to say something and I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's going to be me :- /

In other news, I'm seeing my psychic on Saturday and she said "Come prepared, we have a lot to discuss"....God help me.