“Happy” Monday! I had a great weekend…some of my family from VA took a spur of the moment trip up to NJ and since my boyfriend was consumed with running a golf tournament, I had all the time in the world to hang out with my Aunt P, Uncle S, Cousin T and his best friend. Dinner on Saturday was fun and after the initial shock of my weight loss (I believe Aunt P actually said “Where’s the rest of you?!” and “You were always so pretty, but you’re entire face changed! You’re gorgeous!”…I knew I loved that woman) talk quickly turned to the new man in my life (thanks Mom). The entire dynamic cracks me up. My mom hasn’t met a boyfriend in 10 years and the last one she met, she had to meet because she was driving us around at the age of 16. If you couple that with what the psychic said (I’ll be getting married sooner than I think) my Aunt(s) have already begun planning what they’re wearing to my wedding and which reading they are going to read in the aforementioned dress. I guess I can’t really fault them since I’ve had the readings selected for approximately 16 years now, but it was still entertaining to see other people more excited than I am about my nonexistent nuptials. This entire conversation then turned to how my cousin wants either a baseball scholarship or a golf scholarship to college, and since he already has a private baseball coach, golfer would be more than welcome at the next family dinner to discuss my cousin’s “short game”. I was told to have golfer put the date in his calendar ‘or else’….My Aunt has never actually said that to me before, so I took it at face value and informed golfer that he had no choice but to come to dinner (which he laughed about, until I told him I was completely serious and watched him put it in his phone).
Dinner led to more discussion on Sunday about this psychic and relationships and a bunch of other stuff. I don’t get a lot of one on one time with my Aunt, so it was nice to actually hear her perspective on things, after all, she’s been married to my Uncle for 28 years, so she must have done something right. We started talking about people who stay in bad relationships out of familiarity, people who date forever and decide to never get married, people who got married after 11 years of dating and don’t last 2 years in the marriage and people who date people and are unsure of what they want out of the relationship. We agreed that it’s not how long you date (see the couple who dated for 11 years and after they were married, the bride found out that for the last 4 years, her husband was dating someone else), but where you are in your lives and where you want to go, that becomes more of a factor. This could’ve very well been my aunt priming me for my wedding next week, so she could get dressed up…but I think it was more than that.
This had me bring up a point that my best friend raised last week (granted, she used the point to prove that her ex-roommate was nuts, but I’m about to use it against her). Her ex-roommate believed that after 2 months of dating someone, you should know if you want to marry them or not. My best friend though this was the most preposterous thing she had ever heard and compared it to love in a movie, but I have to respectfully disagree. I think at my age (25) you are thinking about the future with every person you date and you wouldn’t waste your time on someone who you couldn’t see yourself marrying. Isn’t that the point of dating? To find out what you want, what you don't want and what you need out of a partner? That's the problem with staying in bad relationships...you're potentially missing out on the right guy, if you're wasting time with the wrong one. If someone wasn’t giving me exactly what I felt I needed, I wouldn’t continue to date him, it would be a waste of both of our time. I understand the whole concept of dating more than one person to ‘have fun’ and ‘see what’s out there’, but I’ve been there and done that (and by the way, there isn’t much ‘out there) and I’m not the confused immature person I was at 21. I’ve spent a lot of time, discussing and writing about what I was looking for and dating a lot of the wrong people, so does the fact that I found what I want after 3-4 months make me crazy? I don’t think so. And in case you were wondering, my Aunt didn’t either.
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