The Girlfriend before the GIRLFRIEND

So I've noticed this before, but today it really hit me.  I'm the girl people date before they date the person they want to spend the rest of their life with (or enter a serious relationship with).  I don't know if dating me helps them figure out exactly what they don't want in a life partner (by the way, eff that, I'm a catch) or what, but it's happened three times and the third is now engaged.  

I dated a guy on an off since I was 15, after our last attempt (when I was 19) he met a girl who he's been dating for the last 5+ years, that happens to look like me which is kind of creepy, by the way.  Then I casually dated a really good friend from elementary school, only for him to kind of vanish...but Facebook told me that he met a girl that he dated for 2+ years (they've since broken up).  AND I re-dated my first boyfriend (from Pre-K) and that lasted for a few months.  I think I was more in love with the idea of reuniting with the kid I used to play house with than I could ever be with the guy....he owned a pair of Dallas Cowboy Crocs for Christ's sake (I know, what was I thinking?!).  But he was by far the most immature person I've ever dated and is now engaged to the girl he started dating after me.  Let's not even mention the political savvy guy I dated in Feb 2012 (the story never made it onto the blog because he was SO nice and I broke his heart right before Valentine's Day and then he unfriended me on Facebook because I posted a picture of a heart shaped cookie my boss gave me)..Because he's getting married to the girl he met on Match.com right after me.  

Don't get me wrong, I don't wish that I ended up with any of these guys...looking back at it now, they were all wrong for me for so many reasons.  Not to mention, I really do believe I'm with exactly who I'm supposed to be with, it's just an interesting pattern and it got me thinking...

Puppy "Love"

Well we got a puppy.  Against my better judgement, I agreed to adopt a dog, an 8 month old "labradoodle" to be exact.  First of all, he's not a labradoodle, he's 16 lbs and is only going to get to 25 lbs MAX...that's not a labradoodle and it's even to small to be a mini. Second of all, we were promised he was crate trained and he's not even house broken. As much as I admire the mission of the rescue we adopted him from, I am more than irritated that we were mislead. Talk about stress and frustration.  The only thing we've taught him so far (it's been 6 days) is "Sit" and he only listens when he wants to.  Sometimes he answers to his name "Chief", but it's normally only if you add a "Y" to the end...so it's "Chiefy". 

Needless to say, he's been signed up for puppy school and it starts on Tuesday, I can't wait to see what they tell us.  Hopefully they'll have a suggestion for his barking (at shadows, TV commercials, other dogs, people, etc), his lack of potty training, ways to crate train him (being that we now have TWO crates) and his 'play biting' as the vet so affectionately called it.  

I keep thinking about the 15+ years that I begged my mom for a puppy and she kept asking "Who's going to take care of it?" and she only gave in when my brother found a gorgeous show quality Wheaten Terrier that needed a home and he was TRAINED (really) did she give in.  Once again, she knew what she was talking about...

Literally a One (Wo)Man Show

Golfer left this afternoon for a certification class in Port St. Lucie, FL which means I'm by myself until Thursday.  I've already dumped all of his clothes out of the bins he's been living out of and folded all of the 'whites'.  Tomorrow I'm hanging all of the 'hang-ables' and then Wednesday I'll fold the rest of it.  It's amazing how much bigger this place looks with clothes in their proper homes.  

I know I've said time and time again that I'm not his maid, but It's been 9 hours and I'm already losing my mind and the laundry has been done for two days and the apartment is spotless.  I also can't shop, because I have no job, so the only thing I can do that makes me happy is workout and organize.  I already worked out today, and don't want to become a gym-rat psycho, so I'm not going back today...so organize I will. 

The kitchen could use some organizational work...maybe I'll do that tomorrow...after I do my daily job searching and applying, because for Christmas' sake, I need a life! 

"Lonely, I'm so lonely" - Akon

I have been living in Miami for 19 days and I think I've cried 50% of those days.  Not because I'm sad, or I don't want to be here...I love my boyfriend and I think this is what I needed to do to make sure this is the relationship I want to be in for the rest of my life.  But I cry because I'm lonely;  I miss my mom, I miss my dog and I miss having friends and neighbors.  I go to the food store and Target once a day just to talk to the deli clerk and the checkout people (well I talk to the ones who understand English, which actually only encompasses 1/3 of the employees in these stores).  I even got a library card, just so I can go sit at the Kendall public library and hopefully meet a friend in the fiction section.  

I knew this would be a difficult experience for me, I just don't think I realized how difficult.  I feel like my support system that I've had for the last 26 years is so far away and the people I would vent to over a drink are non-existent anymore, the people who would tell me that these feelings are normal, and I'll find a job soon are MIA. There are people that were at my going away party who I haven't talked to in 3 weeks since the party.  And I don't know how to "build" a new support system and it's becoming extremely frustrating. I feel like it's only going to get worse when Ryan goes for his certification tests next week...then I'll really be alone. And it's hurricane season...this is a recipe for disaster.

Hope you're all having a fantastic Friday...since the sun is out, I might run over to the pool...by run I mean take a 1/2 hour to put on sunscreen, put on a bathing suit, grab a towel and grab a book just in time for one of the many daily FL downpours (can you tell this happens often?)

Messy Marvin

Let me start out by saying I love my boyfriend...I really really do.  He's just not the neatest person on the planet...it has nothing to do with food or dishes or anything like that (thank the Lord)...but for the love of God this guy has clothes everywhere. I know any of you that saw my room in my mom's house are dying laughing right now and my mom is probably saying 'that's karma'...but golfer has clothes all over the place and 7 things hanging in the closet. We have his and hers walk-in closets...mine is FILLED to capacity and his has 7 things hanging up, two (filled) GIANT Rubbermaid bins on the floor and (clean) clothes on top of the hamper.  Not to mention he has three empty dresser drawers and two empty nightstand drawers just waiting to be put to use.  If I had my clothes when I moved in, the first thing I would've done was unpack them!  I was so excited about this closet!  The second I picked up thirteen my few boxes from the post office I starting hanging away! 

Maybe I'm crazy, but living out of a suitcase/bin doesn't feel like home to me...it feels like a temporary arrangement...maybe he's getting ready to move back to the Keys...HMMM, that's food for thought.

Sunday night he asked, "How long is it socially acceptable for me to be living out of bins?" My response was "I think you have about 48 more hours...it's been a week"....we'll see how many articles of clothing meet a hanger and find their rightful place in the closet tonight.  

Don't get me wrong, if living out of plastic containers is the only thing he does that boggles my mind, that's okay with me...but I have a feeling this isn't over. 

Hello from FL!

Hi!  Before I get any grief for being MIA for the last few months, cut me some slack...I've been busy quitting my job, moving to FL and MOVING IN WITH GOLFER.  Yes, the 'golfer' I've been dating for over a year and met on Match.com. (Seriously, who would've thought when I started that nightmare adventure...this is where I'd be?) It's been a HUGE adjustment period for me the last couple of months, so I'm glad to be back doing something I enjoy (yes, blogging).  

First of all, the house I grew up in went up for sale on Valentine's Day, talk about heartbreak!  I knew it was coming, my parents divorce was almost final and that was the last thing they had to do before they could go their separate ways, but that didn't make it hurt any less.  Then after 8 years of being 'separated' (I use the term loosely because they lived together)...so the end of February closed that chapter in my life.  

In March a great opportunity seemed to find me, it was an entry level position on a client services team in a private wealth management company IN MIAMI (perfect, golfer was moving off of Key Largo in May, so we'd be closer together) I had multiple interviews and at the end of April went down for a 4 1/2 hour interview with the entire team. (Meanwhile, golfer and I had decided it would make sense to live together when I moved, so this trip was not only the final interview, but our anniversary trip AND our apartment hunting trip).  We found the perfect apartment for us and left Miami each feeling hopeful.  

A week later, I quit my job.  My boss had hired a temp to prove a point and even though she was completely incompetent (and I'm being generous with that) he continued to give her my work and I continued to sit there and do nothing, and this Miami gig seemed like it was all but official, so I quit.  Two days after I quit, I found out the Miami company went with another candidate (which is an entirely different story, because I was told by multiple people there were no other candidates).  I was crushed to say the least.  I had never been so excited for the possibility of change in my entire life and everything seemed to be going SO well and next thing I know there is a slight glitch in my plan.  Of course panic set in (I had just signed my first lease and found myself unemployed) but I still kind of felt a sense of relief, if that makes any sense at all;  the stress of my family and my job were gone and for the first time in 14 years, I was able to focus on me. 

Well, I'm now a 'stay-at-home' girlfriend in Miami and have A LOT of "me time"....maybe a little too much. But it's being spent making the apartment feel like home, going to the gym, looking for a job and laying by the pool (not necessarily in that order).

Tomorrow I'll fill you in on what life is like once you go from long distance relationship to roommates...

Klout or Krap?

23 people looked at my blog yesterday!  I'm so sorry there's no new material for you!  On Saturday I was introduced to Klout by a friend from college.  She's a social media/telecommunications professional, so when she suggests an app, or something else for me/the rest of Facebook to try, I normally do as I'm told.  I downloaded Klout, I read the instructions and it basically said once you enter in your information, Klout will give you a score from 1-100 to rate the 'influence your social media presence has'.  After quickly inserting ALL of my social media information (think names and passwords for Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blogspot, Linked In etc) Klout rated me a 22! A 22 out of 100!? How is that even possible!?  I have an inactive Twitter, an out of date blog with three followers, a Facebook account that I try not to post on because most things I post tend to start a political debate and an Instagram account with 4 pictures....not to mention my LinkedIn account which I use solely for job searches.  Okay, so maybe I'm not the most influential person via social media, but that's going to change.  I've set a new goal for myself to have a Klout rating of 50 by Friday.  Game on.

But on the bright side, it means more reading material for you! But I guess that depends on how you look at it..