And the winner is...

Just to give you a little background, I met a guy at a friends birthday party in NYC last year.  He was goofy and fun and a diehard Yankee fan, so I was pretty psyched.  We went out a couple of times and even made out on a street corner (Sorry, Mom, it wasn't one of my classiest moments).  Then he vanished.  I literally never heard from him again, until last night.  It all started with a Facebook post:

I thought his final 'touche' meant I won, until I came into work this morning and he left me a facebook message.  The facebook conversation went like this (I'm in pink):

12:12am

do I really suck that bad?

9:04am

eh...kind of...

9:07am

damn....

9:08am

umm..you blew me off hardcore

that = sucking

I really do suck

glad we're on the same page

lol

9:09am

hahah glad it's so funny

it was a long time ago...it is funny!

9:11am

hahaha if you say so...

9:12am

what would you call it?

haha good question

I have some choice words if you need some help...lol

9:13am

hahahahahahahaa

ok that was kinda funny

go for it

LOL

immature, mean, rude, lame

jerky

I feel better now

9:15am

haha lame?

yes

glad I could be of assistance

haha...it's much appreciated.

for some reason, that's the one I take offense to

9:16am

that's an odd choice

I don't disagree

really...lame?

9:19am

Yes, lame: According to Webster - 3. weak; inadequate; unsatisfactory; clumsy: ex a lame excuse.

touche

9:29am

well for what it's worth, I apologize for being lame...

9:30am

thanks. but next time you should just tell someone you don't want to talk to them/hang out with them/make out on street corners with them anymore...it's the nice thing to do.

9:29am

again, touche

Game. Set. Match.  I think I won that one.

Foto Friday - Golf Edition

Golf is a funny sport. Certain tournaments are shown on TV for hours and hours and sometimes days at a time.  It always looks like a free for all around the greens and everyone has the same polite clap.  While I am AH-MAZING at mini golf, I don't quite have the tension span to play 18 holes of real golf.  While I love Phil Mickelson and think Rory McIlroy is adorable, I don't know as much about the sport as those who play regularly. This could provide to be a problem tonight when I go on a date with a golfer.  Yes, a real life golfer.  Those of you who know me know it's the plaid pants and the farmers tan that drew me in, but now it's time to brush up on some golf knowledge, mainly because the last lesson I had was in 2005 and I'm pretty sure it doesn't count if you don't show up...

Let's educate ourselves!

Bubba Watson - Won this years Masters on Easter in Augusta
Uses a pink driver to support breast cancer
Can be followed @bubbawatson

Yani Tseng - Thought to be the best female golfer in the world
Has won 5 majors and is 4 points away from being in the HoF
She's only 23

Driving Range
The best female golfers in the world drive the ball between 200-250 yards
For all intensive purposes, we'll say I drive the ball 177 yards

The bag I would get if I ever decide to take up golf for real...
Only $189.99...Actually, come to think of it,
I might actually have my own clubs.

Nike Golf Shoes
I picked them by sorting the selection by 'highest ratings',
then picked the cutest

I can even golf in a dress, PERFECT!

Holy Heck

I honestly thought I had seen it all after have that guy yesterday basically confess to me via email that he was a sex addict and wanted to know if I could 'keep up with him'.  However, as per usual, I was wrong and it actually could be (and got) worse. 

I Give Up...

Foto Friday - Miami Edition!

I used to dread 'Foto Friday', because I never knew which pictures to pick, or if there should be a theme involved and a bunch of other nonsense that I won't bore you with here.  Since today is the last Foto Friday before I head to MIAMI and I won't be around to blog next Friday, I'm going to make you all jealous with Miami Beach pictures!


Ocean Point Resort & Spa




























Yes, I'm going to the zoo and grooming a goat! AND getting my picture taken feeding a giraffe!

South Beach

The most important part of my vacation...My brother!

Another weirdo...

The freaks are back out…I received TWO emails from a guy online and thought he was a little too persistent for me (I think it was more that he called me ‘cutie’ in the first email, than the fact that he sent two)…after showing my mom his profile she said “at least answer him…what do you have to lose?” or something to that effect, I’ve tried to block the whole event out of my mind. 

He then proceeded to ask for my number, which I gave him and the rest of the conversation went like this:

Wednesday, April 11, 2012:

3:21pm:          Hey, how are you?

4:29pm:          I’m good, who is this?

4:41pm:          NAME from WEBSITE, you gave me your number

5:58pm:          That’s what I figured, but I didn’t know your name.  I’m NAME.

5:58pm:          Nice to meet you love.  Where are you from?

6:12pm:          New Jersey, you?

7:40pm:          NYC how far is the drive? Lol When are we getting together?

8:29pm:          It’s like 45 minutes, I work in NYC

8:37pm:          Nice.  So am I coming over one night?

8:39pm:          Umm…no, you’re a stranger.

8:44pm:          No baby, I’m your friend

8:53pm:          Can you send me some pics of you?

Thursday, April 12, 2012:

11:44am:        Hey beautiful

Why in God’s name are THESE the people that contact me!  What a freak!  And I will now think twice when my mom tells me to ‘give someone a chance’.

Foto [Good] Friday

It's Foto Friday! 

Happy Easter!

Chi-Town or Bust

Spoiler alert!  It's a bust.

We all know that I liked Chicago man a lot (not as much as I like the city, but enough to write this blog post).  The last weekend that I was in Chicago it was great and totally normal. Even the week following, everything seemed on the right track.  Last Monday (8 days after my visit) was the last time I heard from him.  He vanished.

Me being me (and always looking for a good blog post) decided on Sunday that I would send him a text and just see what happened.  I thought for sure I would be ignored and it would all be over.  Immature of him?  Of course, but I was okay with that.

Sunday, April 2, 2012

4:26pm - Hey, haven't heard from you in a while, everything okay?

6:57pm - I've been sick lately. Sucks.

8:09pm - Well feel better

9:09pm - Really sucks.  Dad brought over soup from mom.

9:14pm - That's nice

UMMMM...I don't know about you, but when I'm sick at home I'm normally bored and in bed with my cell phone next to me just in case there is someone throughout the day who is able to entertain me.  So the 'I'm sick' excuse was a poor choice.  Furthermore, you're dad brought you soup from your mom?!  You're 38 years old and have children! You can't make your own soup?!

The bottom line is this:  This guy had PLENTY of reasons he could've used to stop talking to me that would've seemed more logical, I could've even helped him out (long distance, age, height, etc) and instead he choose the sympathy card.  Well for those of you who know me, you know I don't do sympathy when it comes to bullshit, I call it like I see it.  If this guy lived in the tri-state area, trust me when I tell you I would've called him out, but it just doesn't seem worth it with him being 5 states away. 

If a 39 year old man doesn't have the balls to break something off, how the hell am I supposed to expect a 25 year old guy to do it?  This whole dating/relationship thing isn't looking very promising...

Wrong Girl

I recently got an email from a guy ecstatic that I was so into music.  He quickly told me about his drum playing abilities and his love for all things instrumental and insisted we had a lot in common.  Needless to say I was confused, I'm the girl who got kicked out of band in 4th grade, I'm basically musically challenged.  I went back into my profile to see if I mistakenly put something in it that would make someone think I'm a seasoned musician and I didn't. 

There are a few conclusions I've drawn from this experience:

A) He sends the same email to everyone
B) He also has a blog and wants to see how different people respond to a far fetched opening email
C) He sent the email to the wrong person

I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that the email wasn't meant for me, but for your enjoyment, I've posted it below:

Funny...

This is by far my favorite 'headline' to date...