WTF!?

Things to Stop Doing Today

Life is short and we all spend a lot of time worrying about petty everyday issues and stuff that is way beyond our control.  This post is from Marc and Angel, which is basically in inspirational website that makes you feel better about your life when you really think you're going nowhere fast.  It's a long post, but if you have sometime, it's totally worth the read:

Every day is a new beginning.  But in life, sometimes you have to stop before you can truly begin.  So starting today…

Stop caring about everyone’s opinion of you.

For the most part, what other people think and say about you doesn’t matter.  When I was younger I let the opinions of my high school and early college peers influence my decisions.  And at times they steered me away from ideas and goals I strongly believed in.  I realize now, many years later, that this was a foolish way to live, especially when I consider that nearly all of these people whose opinions I cared so much about are no longer a part of my life.

Stop caring about being politically correct.

I had a discussion with a friend yesterday about censorship and how speaking a certain way simply to please others contributes to the loss of one’s true inner voice.  During the discussion I watched him closely, and I could actually pinpoint the heated moment when he was about to give me a piece of his mind, but stopped himself.  It was so obvious!  So I called him out on it.  “You just censored yourself, didn’t you?”  He laughed and nodded.

Everyone has this little watchdog inside their head.  It’s always there watching you.  It was born and raised by your family, friends, coworkers, bosses and society at large, and its sole purpose is to watch you and make sure you stay in line.  And once you become accustomed to the watchdog’s presence, you begin to think his opinion of what’s acceptable and unacceptable are absolute truths.  But the watchdog’s views are not truths, they’re just opinions – forceful opinions that have the potential to completely brainwash you of your own opinions if you aren’t careful.

Remember, the watchdog is just a watchdog, he just watches.  He can’t actually control you.  He can’t do anything about it if you decide to rise up and go against the grain.

No, you should not start randomly cussing and acting like a fool.  But you must say what you need to say when you need to say it.  If it isn’t politically correct, so what.

Don’t censor yourself.  Speak the truth.  Your truth.

Stop caring about looking a certain way.

There is no right way to dress or right way to wear your hair.  No, I’m not saying to you should dress like a clown simply to rebel either.  Everyone who purposely tries to look different ends up looking the same.

Be you, just the way you are, in the unique way only you know how.  Wear clothes and styles you feel comfortable wearing.  Dress the way YOU dress.

Stop caring about what everyone else wants for you.

Unfortunately, just before you take your first step on the righteous journey to pursue your dreams, people around you, even the ones who deeply care for you, will usually give you awful advice.  It’s not because they have evil intentions.  It’s because they don’t understand the big picture – what your dreams, passions and life goals mean to you.  They don’t understand that, to you, the reward is worth the risk.

So they try to protect you by shielding you from the possibility of failure, which, in effect, also shields you from the possibility of making your dreams a reality.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

Stop caring about the boundaries others set up.

No matter how much progress you make there will always be the people who insist that whatever you’re trying to do is impossible.  Or they may incessantly suggest that the idea or dream as a whole is utterly ridiculous because nobody really cares.  When you come across these people, don’t try to reason with them.  Instead, forget that they exist.  They will only waste your time and energy.

Try what you want to try.  Go where you want to go.  Follow your own intuition.  Don’t accept false choices.  Don’t let others put a cage around you.  Definitely don’t listen to the watchdog.

Whenever somebody discredits you and tells you that you can’t do something, keep in mind that they are speaking from within the boundaries of their own limitations.  Ignore them and press on. 

Stop caring about what everyone else has.

When you catch yourself comparing yourself to a colleague, neighbor, friend, or someone famous, stop!  Realize that you are different, with different strengths – strengths these other people don’t possess.  Take a moment to reflect on all the awesome abilities you have and to be grateful for all the good things in your life.

The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life — a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc.  Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you might have a new destination in mind.

Instead, appreciate where you are and what you have right now.  Try comparing yourself to those who have less, those who are dealing with tragedy, and those who are struggling to survive. Hopefully it opens your eyes to all the things you should be grateful for.

Stop caring about the imaginary state of perfect.

Perfect is the enemy of good.

Many of us are perfectionists in our own right.  I know I am at times.  We set high bars for ourselves and put our best foot forward.  We dedicate copious amounts of time and attention to our work to maintain our high personal standards.  Our passion for excellence drives us to run the extra mile, never stopping, never relenting.  And this dedication towards perfection undoubtedly helps us to achieve results…  So long as we don’t get carried away.

But what happens when we do get carried away with perfectionism?

We become disgruntled and discouraged when we fail to meet the (impossibly high) standards we set for ourselves, making us reluctant to take on new challenges or even finish tasks we’ve already started.  Our insistence on dotting every ‘I’ and crossing every ‘T’ breeds inefficiency, causing major delays, stress overload and subpar results.

Remember, the real world doesn’t reward perfectionists.  It rewards people who get things done.  And the only way to get things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time.  Only by wading through years of practice and imperfection can we begin to achieve momentary glimpses of the perfection.

So make a decision.  Take action.  Learn from the outcome.  And repeat this method over and over and over again in all walks of life. 

Stop caring about being right all the time.

We all dance to the beat of a different drum.  There are few absolute ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ in the world.  What’s right for you may be wrong for me, and vise versa.  People need to live their lives their way – the way that’s right for them.

When it comes to life choices and opinions, not much is worth fighting about.  Step back from arguments with your spouse, family members or neighbors.  When you feel anger surging up and you want to yell that vulgar remark on tip of your tongue, just close your mouth and walk away.  Let mind calm down.  You don’t have to be right or win an argument.

Instead, open your mind to new ideas and opinions.  Don’t just concentrate on what others are doing, spend time figuring out why they are doing what they’re doing.

Stop caring about mistakes.

Mistakes teach you important lessons.  The biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re too scared to make a mistake.  So don’t hesitate – don’t doubt yourself.  In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance.  You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Most of the time you just have to go for it!

And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  Win-Win.  Remember, if you never act, you will never know for sure, and you will be left standing in the same spot forever.

Stop caring about things you can’t control.

Some forces are out of your control.  Accept this fact of life.  Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation.

The smartest thing you can do to compensate for the things you can’t control is adjusting your attitude.  Your attitude has a profound effect on your overall potential.  Consuming yourself with the negative aspects of a circumstance gets nothing productive accomplished.  But if you instead look at the circumstance productively and positively, coming from the standpoint of “What’s my next best move?” you put yourself back in the driver’s seat.

Bottom line:  As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  You can’t change what happened, but you can change how you react to it.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.  The opposite is also true.  The choice is yours to make.

Foto Friday

Yesterday was a BIG day for Orange fans everywhere....The Men's Basketball team advanced to the 'Elite Eight' for the first time since winning the National Title in 2003.  The irony of this, is that they won the game by one point, just like in 2003 AND the finals are in New Orleans, just like 2003...Normally I would feel like I'm jinxing them, but since every New York news outlet has already made the comparison (except for ESPN, because to them SU has 'no go to guy' and has 'no business being a number one seed'), I don't feel bad.  Foto Friday is some of the most memorable moments from this season, the good, the bad and the ugly.




Scandal started the season...

 

Our 7' Big East Defensive Player
of the Year decided not to go to class
and became ineligible, TWICE



CJ Fair and Dion Waiters hugging it out
after the Sweet 16 win



It's game time, Let's do this!



Hopefully he's smiling next weekend!























A National Championship would be the perfect ending to a not so perfect season.

GPS of Life

Lately I've been feeling like some of my friends and family think I'm off of my rocker.  While most of them have been supportive (to my face) about my relocation wishes, I know a few have been not so happy and told others that I'm out of my mind.  So it's fitting that this was my horoscope today:

This is right on.  I'm scared enough thinking about a job change and a new city because the worst thing in the world would be to fail and have to come back home.  But at the same time, something is telling me I have to do this and I have to follow my gut (and my heart) on this one.  I appreciate everyones concern about my well being, but I'm a tough girl, I've been through plenty and I'm pretty sure I'll be able to navigate my way through life.  I know there will be speed bumps and detours, but every time I get in the car, I already have one British Man/GPS yelling at me to 'remain on the current road ahead'...I don't need any additional Magellan's in my life, just a truly supportive base.

Chi-Town Love

So I’m back from another glorious Chicago weekend...and yes, I still want to move there.  I’m sure it sounds crazy and slightly over dramatic, but I actually feel at peace there.  The city is on a lake, it’s clean and it’s easy to manage.  The people are friendly, helpful and always willing to lend a hand. And obviously the added bonus is that 3 of my best friends and current love interest are within 30 miles.  I was slightly nervous going back so quickly because I wasn’t really sure how this all was going to play out.  The guy has only met one friend and I normally don’t introduce guys to my friends until it’s ‘serious’.  But he took it in stride and I think Hol liked him, I mean she sat through a meal with him and asked engaging questions and they laughed and it seemed good.

I was really sad to leave Chicago this time...I think last weekend I knew I was coming back in 5 days, so I didn’t take it so hard, but this time after I said bye to the guy, I cried.  He didn’t see me cry (I’m not THAT crazy) but I cried.  Then leaving this morning, I teared up again....but that might’ve been due to the fact that it was 4am and I could’ve still been drunk...for story sake, lets say it was because I was really sad.  Bottom line is this:  Hol finds out in a few weeks if she is staying in Chicago, if for some reason her roommate isn’t staying in Chicago (they work in a rotational program) I plan on moving into her apartment.  If her roommate is staying in Chicago also, that’s fine, I’ll find my own place to live.  The goal is to be living in Chicago by September 1, 2012. 

In other news, we know I’m a horoscope junkie and when I found out the guys birthday, I obviously went right to the stars to see if we were compatible and I am happy to report that it looks like we are!

“When the immature Aries and wise Capricorn fall for each other, an unusual combination is experienced in which the attraction can be exciting, but harmony can be difficult to attain. As this fire and earth sign try to blend in, they may create amazing chemistry or nothing at all.
An Aries man is dashing and carefree, rarely stopping to stare at the small wonders of life. For them life is a challenge and they cannot wait for each and every new day... An Aries can easily fall for a Capricorn woman at first sight and the connection seems to be very strong. He is never a diplomat and his quality of straight forwardness is highly admired by her.

The Capricorn woman is very careful, wise and exasperatingly correct at all times... Since security and authority are always her goals, an ambitious Aries man makes a good match for her. She is often much more warm and lovable than she permits herself to realize, and always far more physically appealing and attractive than she believes.

Though most of the Capricorn women are career oriented but for them family and family ties always come above everything else. This attitude of Capricorn woman gives a sense of devotion and dedication to an Aries man. Sometimes she may find him a bit immature but this can be overcome if the age difference is prominent, and Aries is elder to Capricorn, as no other zodiac sign understands the value of experience as the Capricorn does. Sometimes the cold mask of the Capricorn woman can give hiccups to him as she avoids sharing herself until she has total trust on the person.

The Aries man and the Capricorn woman can have an interesting relationship when he is aware of her insecurities and when she does not try to make him feel inferior in any area of life through her intellect. This stability is earned by this couple with due course of time as their love deepens and all the superficial aspects are left far behind. She really longs to love him as fiercely in return of his passionate love as much she receives from him. As their selfless love flourishes, they bask in the sunshine of never ending affection and devotion, which makes them experience the heaven on earth.”

BLAHHHH

Confession: I went on a date last night.  "What? Why? Don't you like Chicago man? With who?" I got all of those questions yesterday after telling friends that I was going on said date.  I met the guy online before Chicago man and we were going back and forth for a while, but he was on a snowboarding trip and I was in Chicago, so it just never happened.  He came back from his trip and I had a day before I left for Chicago (again) so we decided to meet up in North Jersey, 50 minutes from my house to be exact. 

First and foremost, I had pre-packed for my Chicago trip a few days ago (as per usual) with the thought that I wouldn't be seeing Chicago man, only to find out yesterday that not only will I be seeing him, but probably on multiple occasions...and let the repacking begin. Of course a normal person would've repacked last night, but in true Lefty fashion I decided to repack AFTER the date (at a martini bar). 

Needless to say I wasn't feeling this date at all, I didn't want to go, didn't want to do my hair or make-up and literally tried on 3 different t-shirts before I picked a 10 year old Banana Republic tank to wear.  While driving up to this location I was thinking about how this could be classified as cruel and unusual punishment...I could be packing (properly) for the people I really do want to see, but instead I'm driving an hour each way, to sit and have a 12 point WW drink with a stranger I met online, and if he's anything like the rest of them, it will be a waste of my time.  I had researched the bar earlier in the day and it actually seemed really cool!  A little strange, because you had to park in the bottom of a hotel, but awesome none the less.  And it was!  The bartender, Eric, was very funny also and I should go back and personally thank him for being the HIGHLIGHT of my night.   A glass of wine and eight...that's right EIGHT glasses of water later, he asked if I wanted to 'hang out for a bit' or 'get going'.  UMM, hello, we have already established throughout this date that I can't really understand you with your speech impediment, you don't like sports and you didn't know the #1 seeds in the NCAA Tournament.  We've also established that I wake up at 5am for work and I haven't packed for Chicago.  You also selfishly picked a place 20 minutes from your house and TRIPLE the distance from mine and it is 10:30 pm on a Thursday, so no, I don't want to 'hang out for a bit'...I want to go home, pack and go to sleep.  Getting home was not an easy feat.  The restaurant was on level 'M', he knew he parked one level above the restaurant on P2 and got out of the elevator on that floor. I thought I parked on P3 but was quickly made aware that I didn't when my car was nowhere to be found.  I then went to P4 and P5 and my car was still NOWHERE.  I went back to P2 and again no car.  I did the same thing 3 or 4 times before I was in a sheer panic because I thought I was going to pee my pants from all the water and be kidnapped in this vacant parking deck and I did the only logical thing I could think of....call my mom.  The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Mom, I can't find my car...I really have to pee and I'm really tired and I just want to go home"
Mom: "Well where did you park it?"
Me: "Somewhere in this parking deck, but I swore it was P3 and it's not there, actually no cars are there, I'm all alone and it's really scary" (cue sobbing)
Mom: "He didn't walk you to your car?"
Me: "No. Even if he did, what would it matter, I can't find it! I don't know where it is."
Mom: "This is why I always write down where I park...."
Me: "Thanks"

Well ladies and gents, it was on P1 the floor BELOW the restaurant.

And I started packing for Chicago at midnight, have packed 3 pairs of jeans for 2 days and who knows what else and I've also had 4 hours of sleep...THIS should be a great day.

And just because it's 'Foto Friday' and I'm beyond tired:

This is how my dog sleeps...on my bed.

Back to Reality

As most of you know, I have recently become obsessed with the idea of moving to Chicago.  Put 3 of my closest friends in a city, throw in a hottie and cheaper rents than NYC and how does a girl say no?  I've been to Chicago a few times, but never did any 'touristy' things...until yesterday.  I went to the lounge on the 96th floor of the Handcock Building and holy crap, it was the most spectacular thing I have ever seen.

Then I read my horoscope today and it in part said this: "Your desire for a more exciting life can precipitate a crisis at home and motivate you to consider radical action to reinvent your career or relocate."  Amen.

This is a first...

So I've been MIA from the dating website for quite sometime now...I don't know if I'm hopeful about this new guy that I'm traveling across 5 states to go on a date with, if it's because I'm too lazy to actually put in the work or if I simply just don't care anymore.  Whatever the case may be, I updated my profile yesterday and 'winks' were rolling in!  However I got this:

Followed by this:

I'm still laughing...this is one of my favorite messages to date!

Foto Friday

I feel like I just did a Foto Friday yesterday (obviously it was 7 days ago, but still) and here I am again!  Since I won't be able to do one next Friday (I'll be in CHICAGO!) I figured I should make this one good.  Since I'm going to Chicago to celebrate my best friends birthday, catch up with 2 other college best friends, go on a date and beg someone to hire me, it should be a very eventful trip.  For those of you who know me, you know packing is NOT my strong suit and it probably never will be.  So I thought it would be fun to post some of my outfit ideas for this trip! And who knows, maybe it will even help me pack less!  Some of the stuff in the 'pack pile' isn't available online, but I found two of my outfit options!  Happy Friday!  

Day Long Date Outfit



J Crew $88





Old Navy $23 (SALE)































Calvin Klein $69.50

 
















Dolce Vita Boots, $108 (SALE)





Brunch/Shopping with Friends



Photo Credit: Gap.com (Vest no longer sold)





Old Navy $12.50 (comes in LONG!)







Mine are INC, but these are $20 from Target!